Downward Spiral

An Overview of Unemployment

This being one of my first official blog post besides the “introduction” and “About me “ page, I should start off trying to explain my situation and showing you the path of where (I hope) this blog will take you. Simply put, I’m unemployed.

Actually my title is a little longer; I’m an Unemployed Disabled Veteran.

An even longer title would be; Unemployed Disabled Veteran Housewife.

Or; Unemployed Educated Disabled Veteran Housewife.

Whatever the title maybe; the only thing I can truly change and can be changed without my approval is becoming unemployed. Ok, before any corrects me, yes being a housewife can change too with divorce and foreclosure. I don’ see that in the future and that would be a WHOLE different website in it’s own.

I’ve had about 4 unemployment stents, only two have been long term, the other two was just in-between jobs and college. What I have found, the most mentally destructible forms of unemployment is when you are at least qualified for most basic jobs because of education and/or experience and being laid off. I’ve had both. After being laid off, seems to set off a whole different mindset and depression than being a newly educated student looking for employment and has become the most destructive.

These two forms have caused two different reactions from me. The latest stent of joblessness was due to being laid off. Something that I didn’t see coming but was trying to find a new job anyway because I was unhappy with the conditions I was working under. The reasons for being laid off and my disagreement is besides my point of this post, in the end, I am once again unemployed.  The emotions of fear and the self degrading of your own self worth starts to set in and you begin to tear yourself apart. You are your worst enemy.

The first unemployment period, was after I had returned to school and earned my BA in Sociology. After I quite my mediocre job and returned to college, was about 2 1/2 years. Part of this period, was a blessing to me because of the GI Bill and Veteran benefits, but it still caused some depression specially after I graduated and could find work. I looked for 9 months after my last class. I had experience and a diploma, couldn’t land a job or even an interview. This set off a loneliness, depression, anxiety, fear and helplessness. the beginnings of my Unemployment PTSD (which is not a true form of PTSD, I’m will use the phrase to help explain myself).

I truly feel that after you become unemployed after the first long period, causes you a form of PTSD. Once the second unemployment period begins, the feel and anxiety kick in and is much worst to dig yourself out of your own grave. The point of this blog will to help my own anxiety and express what I go through mentally and what I’m doing to overcome my Unemployment PTSD.

In the next few months (or weeks depending on what life throws at me), I would like to bring in a few discussions with; Veterans and Unemployment,  an analysis of the book Emotional Intelligence written by Daniel Golemen and how his principles can relate to joblessness, and of course you will see plenty of rants of my personal struggle. Not saying that all of my rants will be about my fight with joblessness, there will be plenty of other issues I’ll press forward.

This post doesn’t nearly describe what I feel; it only sets a precedence of what is to come. I want to show evidence on why I feel this way. Show how being a veteran has become a black cloud for finding a decent job. How my own emotions can be overriding all of positive energy and starting a mental battle between what I am and what I can do versus my own opinion of myself.

Copyright by Stephanie Meckler

“I own my own website and I’m naked!”

Since I spoke those famous words (my husband could barely control his laughter), I have put on some clothes. I had just stepped out of the shower, when I received the phone call and could hold back my excitement.

Sorry to disappoint, but there is not any nudity on this website.

Those were the first words that I said to my husband once my domain was approved to be released! I was so ecstatic that I owned my own website. A project where I can be myself and fully clothed.

Welcome to the Fiery Imp Page!

Please have a seat and enjoy a nice  beverage (a adult beverage is preferred) and have a look around.

I’m new to this whole “blogging” sensation, I’m not sure what I’m doing on here. Actually, I do, at least from a personal aspect. I’m using this blog as a form of therapy. No, I’m not crazy and need professional help (ok, maybe I do), but therapy as seen as a purpose. Let me explain.

I am, once again, unemployed. After my years in the Navy, I have struggled to find a consistent career and a workplace that I “fit” into. I am terrified of not being able to use my cognitive ability to express myself with feeling secluded from the rest of the world inside of my house. I have a strong feeling that blogging can help put my desire at ease by writing out my day activities and hobbies, and reaching out to the world. Even if no one is listening, this is my current project and job.

Throughout this blog, I am planning on sharing (in no particular order);

  • DIY projects (I need someway to spend my day after I apply for jobs)
  • Outings and Fitness (Gold Hunting, Hiking, trying to run faster than a zombie)
  • My Photography
  • Sewing Projects (When I actually get my sewing machine cleaned)
  • Social Discussions (I should actually use my degree that the tax payers paid for)
  • Fuzzy Terrorist aka my Pets (the ones I spend most of my time with)
  • The Good, The Bad and the Ugly- of being Unemployed (watch out, this one can go pretty deep)

I’m not looking for fame or even to be paid by this blog. Honestly, no one ever has to read this. This blog is for me and presented by me. This is who I am, and hopefully, this is where I “fit” into.

To the blogs to come and Welcome All! Cheers my friends!