Tears

Empathy

You would think that I’ve had enough writing for one day, considering that I just wrote a 6 page resume for Federal employment. Honestly, this is the first resume that I could actually express most of my talents and experience. I’ve been told that normal resumes for private employers need to be only 1 page long. After you finish your address and education, you’re half way down the page! My military experience takes a lot more than 3 bullets to explain.

I’ve never written a federal resume, because I didn’t understand it’s importance. I also never wanted to use my disability to gain employment. Just because my legs are damaged does not mean I need to stand out in front of the rest, at most, in front of more disabled veterans.

After meeting with my EDD rep today, I felt that there was actual hope on getting employment with either the Federal government or State government. By using my disability, will help greatly with employment. This leads me to two thoughts; disability as an employment benefit (or empathy) and having a disability is the only way a veteran can find work.

I’ve been unemployed a few times; the outcome has always been disappointing with the work I was doing. The work I was trying to fit into was something that I wasn’t built for. I would take jobs because I needed to pay my bills. In pursuing these jobs, I never used my disability, only hoping my education and experience would carry over. No other doors really opened up for me. So was that because I wasn’t disabled? No one could understand my profession?

Now that I am actively using my 10 point preference as a disabled vet and the experience may actually will help with the employment process. Is that empathy? Employers want to hire vets who served their time and now have service connected disabilities that will change their lives forever. We’re a tax write-off for crying out loud. I ask again, is the empathy? Or is it the only way employers will notice us from the rest of the world.

Veteran do not need certain specialties or exceptions, we’re human beings with a brain and great knowledge from our experiences. We did our job well, we’ve done things most people won’t even consider. Even when we get out of the service are labeled and segregated because we’ve made certain sacrifices. Do we deserve a different standard in employment? Do we deserve empathy because we are disabled in one way or another? That’s a decision you need to decide. A personal belief and ethic that is becoming the social norm and a stereotype. Think hard before you make this judgment. Veterans’ are human. Treat us as such. We made our sacrifices for ourselves, our nation and our families.

I have hope. Its 2014, we’re not at “war” and the image of a veteran is being cleared up. Laws are being passed that help us with employment and social services are being implemented. Does this solve all of our unemployment woes? No, plenty of us are still unemployed. The future doesn’t look as grim as it did in 2009 and 2011 when I started to apply for a career. The stigma maybe loosening the rope around our necks and hopefully political shortcomings and decisions are being left out of our past (we were only following orders). I started this blog with the feeling that veterans are always the last to receive a fair share. Stereotypes and stigma has left us to be baby killing machines who love war with our PTSD and love to hold secrets. Hopefully now those stereotypes are dissolving and we can finally start to build our lives, disabled or not.

Downward Spiral

An Overview of Unemployment

This being one of my first official blog post besides the “introduction” and “About me “ page, I should start off trying to explain my situation and showing you the path of where (I hope) this blog will take you. Simply put, I’m unemployed.

Actually my title is a little longer; I’m an Unemployed Disabled Veteran.

An even longer title would be; Unemployed Disabled Veteran Housewife.

Or; Unemployed Educated Disabled Veteran Housewife.

Whatever the title maybe; the only thing I can truly change and can be changed without my approval is becoming unemployed. Ok, before any corrects me, yes being a housewife can change too with divorce and foreclosure. I don’ see that in the future and that would be a WHOLE different website in it’s own.

I’ve had about 4 unemployment stents, only two have been long term, the other two was just in-between jobs and college. What I have found, the most mentally destructible forms of unemployment is when you are at least qualified for most basic jobs because of education and/or experience and being laid off. I’ve had both. After being laid off, seems to set off a whole different mindset and depression than being a newly educated student looking for employment and has become the most destructive.

These two forms have caused two different reactions from me. The latest stent of joblessness was due to being laid off. Something that I didn’t see coming but was trying to find a new job anyway because I was unhappy with the conditions I was working under. The reasons for being laid off and my disagreement is besides my point of this post, in the end, I am once again unemployed.  The emotions of fear and the self degrading of your own self worth starts to set in and you begin to tear yourself apart. You are your worst enemy.

The first unemployment period, was after I had returned to school and earned my BA in Sociology. After I quite my mediocre job and returned to college, was about 2 1/2 years. Part of this period, was a blessing to me because of the GI Bill and Veteran benefits, but it still caused some depression specially after I graduated and could find work. I looked for 9 months after my last class. I had experience and a diploma, couldn’t land a job or even an interview. This set off a loneliness, depression, anxiety, fear and helplessness. the beginnings of my Unemployment PTSD (which is not a true form of PTSD, I’m will use the phrase to help explain myself).

I truly feel that after you become unemployed after the first long period, causes you a form of PTSD. Once the second unemployment period begins, the feel and anxiety kick in and is much worst to dig yourself out of your own grave. The point of this blog will to help my own anxiety and express what I go through mentally and what I’m doing to overcome my Unemployment PTSD.

In the next few months (or weeks depending on what life throws at me), I would like to bring in a few discussions with; Veterans and Unemployment,  an analysis of the book Emotional Intelligence written by Daniel Golemen and how his principles can relate to joblessness, and of course you will see plenty of rants of my personal struggle. Not saying that all of my rants will be about my fight with joblessness, there will be plenty of other issues I’ll press forward.

This post doesn’t nearly describe what I feel; it only sets a precedence of what is to come. I want to show evidence on why I feel this way. Show how being a veteran has become a black cloud for finding a decent job. How my own emotions can be overriding all of positive energy and starting a mental battle between what I am and what I can do versus my own opinion of myself.